Astroslam

Oh astroslam, you always know...

"Your dating model of 'fish with light tackle, catch and release' has served you well thus far, but lately you seem to be catching the same fish over and over. Try fishing in a pond where all the fish don't work at your office."

Inaction

"It may be that the universe is telling you to do nothing -- to just accept the events without judgment. For now, that'll have to do."

Old

Hilarious, and probably a foreshadowing to my life.

"While you've always imagined you'd grow old with someone else, the lines on your face and the extra space in your bed prove that you were only half right. It's never too late for further disappointment."