Took a romp in the Capitol today. The snow made the experience. It was freezing, but I learned that I am more adventurous than I remember. Even freezing snowy nights won't keep me from doing what I want. My horoscope said that today, and it mentioned I'll meet a teacher in June. And acheive a goal in August. Geminis and Virgos are caring listeners for me. Truth.
Impressions
I prefer beginning relationships instead of maintaining them.
A relationship is always better in the beginning. People are excited to get to know each other, they're really interested in you- otherwise they wouldn't be trying to become a friend.
I find that after a while either I am tired of them, or they are tired of me.
For the past 5 years I have been trained to hold short relationships. From living spaces, classes, jobs, everything has been a short term deal. Now that the years of short experience are gone, I'm finding it hard to build upon these relationships so that people, ideas, work, are still interested in me and what I have to say. It's odd, maybe it's a sel-esteem issue, but maybe it's just a personality thing too.
A relationship is always better in the beginning. People are excited to get to know each other, they're really interested in you- otherwise they wouldn't be trying to become a friend.
I find that after a while either I am tired of them, or they are tired of me.
For the past 5 years I have been trained to hold short relationships. From living spaces, classes, jobs, everything has been a short term deal. Now that the years of short experience are gone, I'm finding it hard to build upon these relationships so that people, ideas, work, are still interested in me and what I have to say. It's odd, maybe it's a sel-esteem issue, but maybe it's just a personality thing too.
Impeccability
Enlightenment +1
To be impeccable is to be without sin. To be without sin is to be free of self-rejection. Without self-rejection there is love. Love cannot be without open love towards others and an open heart for incoming love.
I've been reading the four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and so far agreement number 1 is to be impeccable with your word. The word is a powerful thing. The power of suggestion is what rules the world. Apparently, everyone is ruled by these words before they even realize it. The reason I choose to write a blog, wake up in the morning, breathe shallowly, laugh at awkward moments, style my hair, even eating my favorite dessert. EVERYTHING we do is because of a spoken word, an opinion voiced against or with us.
Granted, I tend to love daquiri ice (sherbert) because most others do not; this is just another positive reinforcement to another opinion shared with me, the word that people should be unique.
I could go on forever but I'll leave with this: Everything is an emotional agreement to a word, opinion. I am feeling the way I choose to feel based off of the powerful words shared with me. A lot of power belongs to me. My happiness and frustration belong to me as well. I'm not sure I want to take credit for those things, but I suppose I have no choice.
To be impeccable is to be without sin. To be without sin is to be free of self-rejection. Without self-rejection there is love. Love cannot be without open love towards others and an open heart for incoming love.
I've been reading the four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and so far agreement number 1 is to be impeccable with your word. The word is a powerful thing. The power of suggestion is what rules the world. Apparently, everyone is ruled by these words before they even realize it. The reason I choose to write a blog, wake up in the morning, breathe shallowly, laugh at awkward moments, style my hair, even eating my favorite dessert. EVERYTHING we do is because of a spoken word, an opinion voiced against or with us.
Granted, I tend to love daquiri ice (sherbert) because most others do not; this is just another positive reinforcement to another opinion shared with me, the word that people should be unique.
I could go on forever but I'll leave with this: Everything is an emotional agreement to a word, opinion. I am feeling the way I choose to feel based off of the powerful words shared with me. A lot of power belongs to me. My happiness and frustration belong to me as well. I'm not sure I want to take credit for those things, but I suppose I have no choice.
Misunderstandings
I don't know why with so many ways to communicate, people still can't get on the same page. And while we'd all like to be nice to each other and not hurt the other person's feelings, it just seems like a simpler, faster route if we all could accept criticism and take words for their face value.
Self
I often think about the relationships I don't have.
Is that weird?
I don't think about the ones I have, I think about what I had or what I saw. It makes for a pretty depressing self-realization.
Tonight I was lying in bed, thinking about how I was lucky to not need to listen to music to fall asleep (normally) -this stems from the rain and a horrible positioning of a balcony above my bedroom window which drips water in an annoying fashion. I was thinking about how I used to have a friend who needed to listen to audio books to sleep and I wondered when we lost our friendship. We used to be best friends. The best of best friends. And I can't pinpoint when it all changed. I can say however, that I haven't talked to her in 4 or 5 years, even though we went to the same college.
I wonder how we lost touch so easily, and then I think about my personal responses. I remember that I am normally an introverted person that likes to take vacations from everyone (like this past Saturday). I remind myself that I probably could have stayed friends with her if I had tried harder. If I hadn't thought either of us was out of the other's league, and if I had realized that we are all the same people just trying to live.
But that's a hard realization to come to terms with. I don't know why yet. It just is.
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